Life seems so erratic. It seems like there is a routine. An order, a cycle in things, in almost each way nature manifests itself. The same is with life. We love routine (most of us). We feel comfortable settling into a routine. The same way there is a cycle. A cycle of emotions, a cycle of mood, a cycle of give and take.

The cycle of mood, what’s it about I wonder? I take it to describe myself. There are usually 2 phases in it. The ‘Outgoing’ phase and the ‘Quiet’ phase. They dont exactly fit the literal meaning of the words. In the quiet phase for example, you may talk a lot at times. But inside you feel alone; quiet, not willing to reach out to anyone or anything for support. You are a rebel, and are tired with the wrongs of the world, not wanting to become a part of this routine, just want everything to be silent. There is a lingering sense of pain too. It’s as if, you suffer, and choose to. Because only through this silence, do I understand and prepare for the next phase.

But only in this Quiet phase, do we experience the tranquility, the peace that sometimes comes over us. It’s as if, life appears a meaningful thing at these precise moments. And everything, specially the silence, makes sense.

The Outgoing phase is an amazing time too. You are happy, and joyful, and energetic. You are willing to be with friends, you consider all your friends, and you talk and make people happy. You live the life you want, and are generally in sync with the society. Everything seems to go well, you feel life couldn’t be perfect. All you wanted is with you. Until something happens, that explodes this in your face and you drift off to the Quiet phase.

How long these phase lasts, varies from each person to each time it happens. It’s all psychological, so you cant give exact values and predictions. But right now, I can feel myself deep in the Quiet stage, trying hard to break free. But each day, the pain deepens, I fall in even more.

It would be great if you share thoughts on order/cycle/routine in similar context!