my Real Mind

Getting closer to my real mind!

Money: The root cause of all evil?

May26

I have heard this often and so must have you. Money is the source of all evil. Its funny how we blame money. True it causes a lot of issues. True it creates complexities and chaos. Even more true is that greed exists. Yet i cant help but think of the words ‘to choose between bad and evil’. Its not a easy choice to make but that’s what we have to do.

Just imagine a world without money. It will be a total chaos. There will be no measure of value. How will you measure value? By 2 truckloads of salt or my love of moon! Does that make sense? For without the existence of money nothing that we see today is possible. How will we barter a space shuttle expedition with my sister’s education. How then will the limited resources be allocated for unending needs?

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Slipping Away

April30

This post is dedicated to someone who changed my life.

I try to hold on
But the moments slip through
I want to hold on
But my mind is against you

I am sorry for not being
To walk with you
For leaving you alone in
the journey of life
It may be easy to tell you
all about it
But to feel it inside
brings me strife

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The Allure of Skin

April20

Life has funny ways of proving us wrong. I had always considered myself a intelligent person. Rather i had considered myself a knowledgeable guy. Until i went outside India. At first i was at all a loss on what to do. Things just didnt seem to fall into place. Either i googled or read the instructions to the S. Slowly i did learn and it was fun. But to be in a new culture gives you different angles to the same thoughts. And as i was sitting in the airport waiting for my departure i suddenly had a realization.

It was about the human mind. If you try to disclose something from it, the more it wants to know about it. Its not just about events and thoughts. Its also about what we see. If you try not to show it a pen, the more curious it is to see the pen. If you know about a pen, have heard about it and talked about it with your friend a million times and yet never seen it, the urge could become overwhelming.
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Stuck in a Different Reality

April7

All the words i had, vanished
Somewhere along this road i walk
Flowing like water at times
Or stuck behind a block

I can hear the thunder and the waves
Something seems to be closing in
I struggle hard to remain outside
But finally it engulfs me
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Kafka on the Shore

February18
No matter how many books you read, each new one has its own set of possibilities and expectations. And somehow it takes a lot of time for me now to select a book to read next.
So there was this book called Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami. A random stumble in a way while looking around for a good read. The japanese connection could be one of the reason i wanted to read this. And so it was that i finally bought this book. But somehow as if by destiny, i never got a chance or the desire to start with it for a month. It was as if i was waiting for a perfect moment to start this book.
And so it was on the airport, while waiting for my flight, that i started this mysterious story. It left a lot to wonder initially and even at the end there is a lot of things to ponder upon. Yet not even for a moment did it make me feel a sense of incompleteness.
All the other emotions i could feel, including Happiness, Joy, Ecstasy, Desire, Pain, Sorrow, Anguish to name a few. The rest, as with emotions, are too tough to describe. I loved the story of how a boy struggles not just in physical life, but also the mental turmoil that accompanies each moment. It was a book about thoughts as much as about events.
I loved Miss Saeki because she symbolized perfection in a way I have never read about. The 15 year old and the 50 year old characters merged into one in a weirdly enthralling way.
I loved that cabin, all isolated and far away, being portrayed as a stepping stone into mental development. It was like a test that made you come out stronger than before mentally.
I loved the character of Sakura somehow. It seemed familiar somehow, as if it was someone i have met or would meet in this life or next.
I dont think i can rate it or compare it with other books but even if i do it would be among the top 5 books i have ever read.

No matter how many books you read, each new one has its own set of possibilities and expectations. And somehow it takes a lot of time for me now to select a book to read next.

So there was this book called Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami. A random stumble in a way while looking around for a good read. The Japanese connection could be one of the reason i wanted to read this. And so it was that i finally bought this book. But somehow as if by destiny, i never got a chance or the desire to start with it for a month. It was as if i was waiting for a perfect moment to start this book.

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Amazon Interview Experiences

February1
I have been asked the Amazon story too often, so here goes. ( I have added the interview questions at the end ).
It started with one lazy friday evening. I was busy with work ( including 3 chat windows over Facebook and Gmail ). I got a call from some consultancy services asking whether iwould be interested in a job. Not with Amazon, but some unheard of company. Obviously i wasnt interested, but then asked the person to drop me a mail. I decided to forward it to friends who might be interested. 30 minutes had passed and no mails in my inbox. I got bored, so opened up spam. There among the top 10 mails was one by Amazon. But this was for a opening in Chennai team, and i was simply not interested. I junked it and was about to go to inbox.
Something in me prompted to search spam for other job related mails maybe. I searched career in my spam, and got another mail from Amazon in the results. I opened it, and the first word that i could comprehend was Pricing. It caught my attention, and i read through the mail. It was for an opening in the pricing team based in USA, and expanding to Bangalore. Seemed like an heavenly match for me. But i felt that as it was in spam, it was probably fake. But i went ahead and replied.
20 minutes later i got a call from the HR and she asked me to come attend the written on Sunday. Are you kidding me? I never thought i would get through in 2 days prepration ( if i did some ). But i said a yes, and thought should i go or not? Whats the point wasting Sunday morning going some place 20KM’s away for a job that i wont get. I took the risk and went ahead. The written was basically about solving 3 problems. Not solving but rather coding the solutions of the 3 questions. They appeared easy, but were tough when i finished coding the solution. After that it was waiting time.
An hour later i was informed that i would be going in for the first round of interview. The interviewer ( a young guy not too older than me ) came in, and had a friendly discussion which involved asking me about some of my college projects and the usual algorithms based questions. It went rather well, much better than i had expected. I kept waiting for the next interview, until it was around 1.
Suddenly a lady came, and introduced herself as one of the people from pricing team. She has come down here, possibly to start the team. And then she took me for lunch ( i wasnt expecting that ), and then the interview. The interview was just a bit shaky but prolonged. I didnt really was able to code the solution, but did manage to work out one for the first problem. The second question went better, and i did write the code.
The wait was shorter for the third interview. I was expecting it to be the last one. The HR came to me and asked whether i am comfortable with Computer Fundamentals. I was like computer fundamentals, whats that? I guessed it to be OS, networks etc. I wasnt to brushed up, so she said that you can give it a shot and if you dont do well we can give you time and go through the interview again. I was like “Wow Amazon! Tussi great go ( You are great )!”. I went in for the interview, and did really really well in the interview. I managed to easily exceed the interviewer’s expectations for Computer Fundamentals, and mine too. The algorithm based question i tried out a new approach which didnt work out, so i went to the usual method after half hour of trying to hit the ball without a bat. I gave him the solution he wanted and that was it.
Now again i waited for like 10 minutes, after which the HR came. I was tensed, hoping this was it. All she said was, you have cleared these rounds and now there would be 2 more rounds. In my mind i thought WTF! But well thats ok, i am still in the game. She had the usual HR chat with me, and when i explained my reasons to quit, she asked me not to mention the money related things to the next 2 interviewer’s. There were 2 more rounds, one with the Hiring Manager in US ( videoconfrencing ) and the other was a bar-raiser round. Both were scheduled on Tuesday morning beginning at 8am.
So i went back, tired and exhausted mentally. The next day i did a bit of googling on the company and bar-raiser round. What i could gather was that this round was meant to raise the average talent quality of company continiously. So you need to be better than an average employee to get through. Also it seemed that this interviewer had the veto power. All yes and his/her no means a NO! It did scare me because i was still not sure i could do better than an average employee.
Tuesday morning came, and i reached the destination. The videoconfrencing started with the usual questions about how, why etc. Then came some really tough HR based questions, which rattled my mind. But i managed to give suitable answers. Then came the technical questions. Again a question and after a bit of stressing out i managed to get a decent solution. This was the only round in which i felt “Its over”. But i still had the last round. I was expecting it to be a videoconfrence too.
Turned out to be a face to face interview with a very senior person in Amazon Bangalore. It went really well, and all his technical and reasoning questions were interesting. I managed to do well, and waited for a result. Again they said it would take us 2 days to get the feedback and take a call. These were 2 tortorous days, and when finally Thursday morning the phone rang i was really anxious. “Pranay, we were just in a meeting discussing you. And we have decided to make a hiring call. Congratulations!” I literally fell down!!
That was the story! And a true one. And pretty soon, i would be a part of this company. They exceeded my expectations in terms of the compensation and take it from me, its the best compensation a IT company gives in India. Microsoft, Adobe fall behind somewhat! So my life changed. In short my salary increased considerably in my first six months of work!
Q1: Given a sorted array which has been rotated unknown number of times, find a number k. For example: 23579 after random rotations becomes 57923. Find 3 for example in less than O(n) time.
Q2: Given 2 binary search trees, find whether they contain the same set of numbers. This was an extension of what is inorder traversal.
Q3: Given a string of characters ( not just number or ASCII ), find the first unrepeated character.
Q4: Implement a function to find the min of a stack . At first i was allowed to change the push/pop function. Even after that i was asked to implement all 3 functions ( push/pop/extract_min ) in O(1) time. I couldnt do it!
Q5: Given a lined list representation of a string, find if its a palindrome in O(n).
Computer Fundamentals: File Handlers, PCB, priority scheduling, thread management, semaphores and locks.

I have been asked the Amazon story a bit, so here goes. ( I have added the interview questions at the end ).

It started with one lazy Friday evening. I was busy with work ( including 3 chat windows over Facebook and Gmail ). I got a call from some consultancy services asking whether I would be interested in a job. Not with Amazon, but some unheard of company. Obviously i wasn’t interested, but then asked the person to drop me a mail. I decided to forward it to friends who might be interested. 30 minutes had passed and no mails in my inbox. I got bored, so opened up spam. There among the top 10 mails was one by Amazon. But this was for a opening in Chennai team, and i was simply not interested. I junked it and was about to go to inbox.

Something in me prompted to search spam for other job related mails maybe. I searched career in my spam, and got another mail from Amazon in the results. I opened it, and the first word that i could comprehend was Pricing. It caught my attention, and i read through the mail. It was for an opening in the pricing team based in USA, and expanding to Bangalore. Seemed like an heavenly match for me. But i felt that as it was in spam, it was probably fake. But i went ahead and replied.

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This Life

December30

If only this warmth i feel
Was real, But not a cup
If only this moment i steal
Was real, but not an illusion

I need another life to live
A moment of thrill to explore
A million dollars to give
And do things like never before
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Missing Something

December7

Its almost 2pm, just about the middle of a normal work day for most. Yet for some days now, this is a very dangerous time for me. Its almost around this time that i start going into a indescribable state of mind. There is no way i can think of work. Its just a matter of passing time till the evening, and i start back home.

Its about 4 months since i have started working. The experience has been a mixed bag. There has been times of fun, and yet times of extreme pressure. I have tasted both the flavors. But it isn’t really what i want perhaps. I started the job with the idea that thing will be boring, but i will manage. Initially there was some excitement, so much to learn, the boring trainings. But i got through all of them okay. But now that i have settled into daily routine of job, i cant find peace.
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There is No One

November29

Now, when i look outside
I can just see the darkness
Now, when i walk outside
I can feel the lonely footsteps

There is no one who would walk with me
Because our steps are so different
There is no one who would talk to me
Because what we say dont make sense

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Fasting and Mahatma

November28

Fasting seems to be a very holy event. To fast, is such a respectable thing in our country. What is so significant about fasting? Maybe for one day it is ok. It gives time for our overloaded digestive system to return to normal. But for half a lifetime?

There are millions of people who starve every year. But nobody cares. Yet when a single man called Mahatma Gandhi decided to fast? It was the rage of a nation. It showed, that Mr. Gandhi was nothing but a attention seeker. There is no right in fasting. Food was created to be eaten, not to remain untouched.

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Black

October23

Black is my favourite color. At least it is right at this moment. Like almost evertyhing about being time dependent, the choices are the same too. This moment i may be so in love with Black and yet the next i would want blue. Its just funny.

Not only is it about time, but it is also situation dependent. When i am video-chatting with someone i would really not want much of black in the frame, like more light. And yet the same black looks awesome at a pub, the dark shades hanging around.
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Bike and Girl: Too good to be true?

October13

It was like all other days. Probably the only thing so special about it, was that it was a Sunday. And a sunday evening for that matter! I was just coming back home, when it started drizzling. The drizzle became a steady rain, moving to heavy rain. And it was raining cats and dogs!

There was not a patch of cloth, left dry on me. And my only protection to the rain, was a helmet, blinding my field of vision. I drove through the perilous rain and by the time i got back to home, i was like leaking water from my clothes. By the time i removed my clothes i had already created a puddle.
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Tears

October7

Tears just find a way to flow
Cant stop them anymore
On the open highway
Thats what my cheeks have become

Finding a way from the eyes
To the end of road
Linger and Drop
Leaving only a wetness behind
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Self Discovery : Momentum

October3
It was not while i was thinking for days in some remote location of the country that i came to this realisation. It just happened during a simple bike ride while coming back home. I have this habit of accelerating gradually, but never wanting to brake. And it was while i was cruising that i thought “Why, this is it”. This is what is required to keep the world functioning. MOMENTUM.

It was not while i was thinking for days in some remote location of the country that i came to this realisation. It just happened during a simple bike ride while coming back home. I have this habit of accelerating gradually, but never wanting to brake. And it was while i was cruising that i thought “Why, this is it”. This is what is required to keep the world functioning. MOMENTUM.

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Masks and Breaks!

September25
Again there has been a break. A break in the writing. Again i have been sucked into the monotony of life, and forgot about the real me. The one that needs to and wants to write. Day in, Day out. I wake up , go to office. Do random stuff. Work sometimes, facebook the others. And come back home. Stay online a bit, go out sometimes. Sleep. And that has become the story of my life.
Of course, there are those times, when something big happens. Or something life changing happens, but in 2 days, i can get used to that too. What is wrong with me? What has happened to me? Have i become a slave to my job, the money that comes along with it?
I need to break-free again. I need to reinvent myself, as they say. And i took a step in that direction. By getting a copy of a book that can lead me on the path. Atlas Shrugged. I need to think a different thought. Not the usual, where do i eat, what time is the meeting, did she comment on my status stuff!
So well, why do i write again? What reignited the fire. A lot of things. A good day. Had fun, did kiddish things! Talked to friends! Found out some apparent truths. Let go of the notion, that i was beginning to like someone.
Masks are worn all day
A different one for different people
And to find out, no way
Only exposed when you see light!
And you tend to believe
Accept the reality that is shown
Until caught unawares, or shown the truth
Or till the cover is blown!
And today again i saw a mask
Taken off, Rather a cover blown
Digesting it, was a tough task
But in the end, you move on!

Again there has been a break. A break in the writing. Again i have been sucked into the monotony of life, and forgot about the real me. The one that needs to and wants to write. Day in, Day out. I wake up , go to office. Do random stuff. Work sometimes, facebook the others. And come back home. Stay online a bit, go out sometimes. Sleep. And that has become the story of my life.

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