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Pyramid of Wants and Desires

Posted on March 8, 2012January 21, 2018 by pranay

They talk about a pyramid wrt to Psychology. A pyramid of needs and desires. Each level has to be fulfilled before we start comprehending the next. Most of us never realize that.

Most of us are born on one level and die at the same level. But then some of us are able to go either up or down the pyramid of needs. I cant comment if up is good or down is bad. It just is in a way.
An example of a very basic pyramid could be something like one with Food, Shelter and Clothing at the lowest layer. The next layer may have stuff like money and education. The top most layer could be something with transportation. Its just an example to explain myself. Almost all things we need or desire can be fit in here.

Yet lately I have been wondering if indeed it is a pyramid. If the pyramid structure even holds. The basic pyramid structure means a broad base narrowing down in each level finally ending at a single point. But if we look at human wants its almost opposite to that.

Lets take food for example. At the lowest level all a human being wants is food. Taste / Type / Quality / Quantity / Variety don’t really matter to the person. Once his need of food is fulfilled he starts thinking about quantity and quality. Once even that is fulfilled he is wanting variety. So in essence his wants increase as each successive level is fulfilled and hence the shape we get is opposite of a pyramid. In essence our choices keep multiplying getting to infinite. Perhaps that is why we say that humans can never be satisfied. We just want more and more.

If we think a little more on these lines and wrt to Enlightenment maybe its the way back. Being free of desire is to have satisfied yourself enough on a particular level that you ‘d rather want to go down. And enlightenment is that point where you desire nothing even if it is. To oppose basic human nature and conquer it is enlightenment. To not desire is the opposite of what we want.

Now if i extend the same analogy of pyramid’s to Love i came up with something weird. Or at least things I had never thought of before. Before I go any further let me add a disclaimer that Love for me is something unique I feel and it may not relate to the generic idea of love or what you consider love. Its just my perception of whatever is Love.

So lets say at first there is nothing and you have nothing. You dont see, know or feel love and hence are not concerned about it. Then you hear everybody talking about it so you start desiring love. Just a longing of love, that is it initially. Who, How, What, Why dont really matter at that time. In certain cases we long for it so much, are hurt or just give up on the emotion completely. Some even call it a weakness to just make things easier in their head. For those who dont give up, they just want Love.

When they do get love and this level is satisfied, they start thinking of loving someone. The next level is maybe how a person looks. The next maybe having someone to do things with and spend time together. Sex is also somewhere there on some level. After a certain stage in love, you want sex as a natural progression. Perhaps there are many other layers. And possibly when most of these wants are fulfilled is the need to talk. The intellect of the other person starts mattering and you start thinking of what to talk to them.

Hence even in love it is hard for a person to say they will be attached to same person forever because you keep moving up or down the pyramid and at a certain level you both may not just be compatible anymore. So what’s a good thing to do then? I think maybe starting with some of the wants that come further up the pyramid would be good. If a person meets one of those desires, things at the lower levels might work out or may be just skipped.

Anyhow the crux is that every emotion , every want and every desire we have can be put at a level on a pyramid and that’s how things are I think!

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