The topic of death is always sensitive. Especially in western culture, we tend to avoid it like it’s a piece of burning coal. For some reason, death is to be avoided, hidden away and never to be talked about. Most statements about the topic tend to become controversial.
Death is usually accompanied by a lot of difficult circumstances and emotions. If it happens to someone close to us, it is next to impossible to be rational. The loss and grief that it brings can rip our lives completely. Especially accidental or needless death like killings and shootings and dying of curable diseases are things to be frowned on. We should do everything in our power to stamp out these events from our lives.
But I believe natural death, when it comes at the end of a life well lived, is not something to be feared. It’s something to be accepted, thought about, embraced and acted upon. I believe that death should be a choice for those who want it to be. Trying to prolong life without voluntary consent, especially when it only leads to more pain and suffering is not really valuable. Almost 5 years ago, I wrote a blog on my ideas of Die and let die.
The magic of transience
On so many occasions in my life, I have found something to have meaning or become more valuable when it becomes temporary. When you start college, it feels like it will never get over. But as you reach the final months, it takes on a more vividness just because you know that your time to experience this thing is limited. Same with maybe a meal you eat or meeting an old friend while doing a stopover in another country knowing fully well that you will not meet again in a long time. It’s the nature of something not lasting forever, that gives it more meaning.
Imagine having your favorite things forever, or your family around all the time. Imagine that box of chocolates will last forever. Imagine that spring lasts forever. It will become frustrating after a while. It won’t feel special anymore. It would lose it’s value because it is always there. There’s a quote that you only realize the value of things once you have lost them.
If there was no death of things, events, or living things – they would last forever. Imagine that things never die, seasons never change, events never end. There would be no change, there would be no differentiating factor in life. If living things don’t die, then we would never have a younger generation because what’s the point of specie propagation if you don’t die.
Finding inspiration in death
Death provides a clean slate, a fresh start for things to start over again. It’s not like a straight line from birth to death. It’s more like a connection of threads where each death is the birth of something else. The dying provides the necessary conditions of a rebirth for something. It’s this cycle of change from birth to death that makes life so eventful and our world so beautiful and wonderful. There is beauty in the dying of living things that lead to birth of beautiful forests.
When you start to find meaning in death, you see both the sides of the coin. You don’t shun anything that touches upon the concept of death. You see it as a part and parcel of life. And in that awareness, you know that life is impermanent and that is what gives life meaning. You act not trying to avoid death or situations around death and that can lead you to make better choices. You grieve for death of loved ones but you also celebrate the passing of those who led a long and fulfilling lives.
Another beauty of having this perspective of impermanence is that it can sometimes be very useful to relieve your suffering. Sometimes we suffer for things or lack of things or situations. But then when you put it into perspective of life, and death, and impermanence, it really makes you question that if you had only a few more days left to live would you still worry about this thing? If you had limited time with a loved one, would you really have that stupid fight? The perspective of death makes a lot of our ego issues irrelevant.
Especially in a world where materialism is encouraged, the perspective that none of these things we have will stay with us. Not just that they won’t last past our normal lives but in most cases they won’t last a few years, makes you evaluate the things you have with very different lens. You will still be attached to things but the bar of things that will be meaningful will increase knowing that everything is temporary.
On a personal level, I have found a lot of inspiration in death. Especially in moments when you are at a bottom, or feeling very low, or extremely stressed about a work situation or with a family member – taking a moment and telling yourself that in 50 years I will not be on this planet, in 5 years you probably won’t even remember this worry, in 5 minutes you would still be alive and kicking without acting on this worry. This act of self-awareness has helped me get through a lot of challenging situations because it gives me perspective that most (if not all) of our worries and struggles are not worth the stress we put on our mind and bodies. It helps me focus on what’s more important and worry about those things 😉